Dear parent, caregiver, uncle, aunt, grandparent, step-parent, teacher, coach, or any other adult in a child’s life. I write this letter on behalf of your child, to you.
In our world of limitless information, there are no excuses for digital ignorance or apathy that puts children at risk. Videos and photos are being taken constantly - some innocent, some with permission, and some covertly. We must strive to protect children from the repercussions of this reality. Children, our future, are worth protecting from digital exploitation and trauma.
The majority of photo taking and video making occurs daily on cellphones and security cameras. When this digital information is encoded on a phone, the user has a choice about what to do with it. Do I keep it for myself? Do I post it on social media? Do I send it to my friend, my mom, or my cousin?
Photos are a great way to share your life with others who are not with you - a way to update, share funny stories, and show what you are proud of. Unfortunately, the intent of your photo sharing does not determine the subsequent uses of the photo, or the real-life consequences.
As an adult, you can decide how to share photos of yourself. You are likely aware of the potential consequences of doing so. But when your photo includes a child, another person’s rights are involved - a person who does not have the social standing to advocate for themselves, or the capacity to understand all that sharing their photo entails. Let’s dive deep into the ramifications of photo sharing and posting, and then consider some simple solutions.
Unintended Consequences of Photo Sharing
A simple example can illustrate unintended consequences. Let’s imagine that you have 20 people who are your Facebook friends. Most of those people are probably family members, and a handful of friends. You decide to take a picture of your daughter’s first day of school. You share it on Facebook. One of your friends thinks this is the cutest picture ever, and decides to re-post it on their Facebook. Unfortunately, this friend is one who adds random people as Facebook friends, and tends to overshare. All of those random people connected to your friend now have access to this picture of your daughter. One of these random people is a child predator, who adds hundreds of people on Facebook, hoping to have access to pictures of children to use for illicit purposes. All of this occurs despite the fact that you have used the highest security and privacy settings possible.
There are numerous other ways in which similar situations could play out. You post a picture on Instagram. Your school posts a picture of your child on their social media accounts. You share a photo of your child to a distant relative who isn’t aware of online risks, and the photo is posted on social media without your knowledge.
As an adult who cares for children, it is heart-wrenching to learn how these innocent pictures are being used. It is likely that photos of children are being stolen off social media sites every second of every day (Holler, 2018). Here are some of the ways that people can use your child’s photo when they have access to it online:
2. Future Job Searches and University Applications
University admissions teams and employers are known to search online for information about applicants. Embarrassing or otherwise offensive photos and content can be used to dismiss applicants (Moody, 2019).
3. Image Similarity Search
In some search engines, you can input a photo, and the search will provide all images on the internet that are similar. This means that the more photos that a child has on the internet, the more information that can be found about that child without much effort. In one photo a person might discover the child’s school, another might show activities they join in, or the time of day they are at certain locations. This unintentional personal information sharing is a safety risk. The Child Rescue Coalition has found a pattern of child predators stalking a child in real life that they have found on social media (CRC, 2022).
4. Photos Downloaded and Repurposed
An utterly nefarious unintended consequence of photo sharing - pedophiles around the world use seemingly innocent social media photos of children to make pornographic memes and other vile content to share with other like-minded individuals. A pedophile who likes the look of your child can easily take a face shot of your child that they have found on social media, then photoshop it onto a picture of a naked child’s body. It is estimated that about half of the photos shared on pedophile websites are originally taken from social media accounts (Battersby, 2015).
Another negative aspect of sharing child photos digitally is the lesson that it implicitly teaches children. Posting a child’s photo online without their knowledge or permission indicates to them that they do not have a right to privacy, and neither does it allow for a healthy culture of consent and personal boundaries. Children might be told that they have autonomy over their body, but the behavior of sharing their pictures is contrary to this message. Adults lose children’s trust when acting in this contradictory way. Being able to set personal boundaries in regards to their body can have positive effects on their mental health and wellbeing.
Furthermore, adults who post children’s pictures are creating a digital footprint for them, and the child has had no say in the matter. Many parents have begun the child’s digital footprint as early as the day of their birth. One study found that on average, a child would feature in about 1000 posted photos before their 5th birthday (Nominet, 2015). Barclays Bank predicts that parents who share information about their children online will be the cause of two-thirds of identity fraud and financial scams that young people face by the end of 2030 (Internet Health Report, 2019).
Responding to Critics of Photo Privacy
When protecting a child’s right to digital privacy, many critics will emerge - sometimes even from the people closest to you. Some of their arguments, and rebuttals to these claims, include:
“I have my privacy settings on the highest.”
As explained in a previous example, even the highest privacy setting cannot ensure that your photo is not downloaded or copied in some way. Once you post it on the internet, there is no assurance that it can ever be fully erased.
“There aren’t many instances of people using and stealing pictures of children. It doesn’t happen that much.”
The CRC has said that they track between 30 and 50 million reports of online users trading child sexual abuse material every day. The CRC has also identified 72.5 million unique IP addresses worldwide sharing and downloading sexually explicit images and videos of children. Those disturbing numbers include only what the CRC has found - there are likely many others that have gone undetected.
“Pedophiles only use bath pictures.”
Actually some predators favorite types of photos are “back-to-school” pictures, children in costumes, and photos of children eating food (Correa, 2019).
“My child doesn’t care.”
This argument likely comes from a caregiver who hasn’t involved their child in the process. One study where teenagers were surveyed across 25 countries found that 42 percent of the teenagers were troubled by how much their parents shared online (CBS, 2022).
“It doesn’t hurt anyone if you don’t know about it.”
Your child knows many, many people. With every person they know, the likelihood increases that one of them, or someone connected to them, would come across a photo of them. Additionally, imagine how your child might feel if law enforcement informed you that their photo, which you originally took and posted, was being passed around in pedophile circles? This damage is difficult to repair.
Simple, Reasonable Steps for Photo Privacy
After learning about the potential horrific consequences of online photo sharing, you might choose to keep all pictures of children off digital devices. However, this is quite difficult if not practically impossible in our current society. You can choose to take all, some, or perhaps just one of the steps below to further protect your child’s digital privacy:
Questions to Ask Yourself When Sharing a Photo
Can I send this directly instead of posting on social media?
Is this person likely to repost or send it to other people?
Have I described my boundaries to this person before?
Am I OK with this photo being spread elsewhere after I have shared it with someone?
Is it necessary for me to send this picture?
How does my child feel (or how will they feel) about me sending it?
Setting Boundaries with Others
A challenging aspect of protecting children’s digital privacy is setting boundaries with people who we may not be used to setting boundaries with. To fully examine healthy boundary setting would require a lengthy discourse, which is outside the scope of this letter. However, recognizing that it is a crucial aspect of being able to advocate for children’s digital privacy, the basics of this necessary skill are highlighted below.
Boundary setting begins with you knowing what your boundary is.
As with any boundary setting, it can feel the most difficult when you begin, but it becomes easier as you practice and experience success in expressing your feelings and expectations. In a world with much ignorance regarding digital citizenship and safety, it can be exhausting to continually set and keep these boundaries. However, working toward the goal of protecting children’s digital lives is worth the energy.
Move Forward with Action
You might feel alarmed or guilty by the information shared in this letter. My intent however was to inform and empower you, as an adult who interacts with children, to use your agency and knowledge to protect our children and their digital lives. As a society we have failed repeatedly to make the digital world safe and friendly for children. It is time to act, and though most children do not have the mental capacity to thank you now, the impact of your current choices to value their digital future will be felt for years to come.
References
Battersby, Lucy (2015). Millions of social media photos found on child exploitation sharing sites. https://www.smh.com.au/national/millions-of-social-media-photos-found-on-child-exploitation-sharing-sites-20150929-gjxe55.html
CBS News (2022). Posting Photos of Your Child on Social Media? Experts Warn There May Be Consequences. https://www.cbsnews.com/sacramento/news/posting-photos-of-your-children-on-social-media-experts-warn-there-may-be-consequences/
Child Rescue Coalition (2022). The Issue. https://childrescuecoalition.org/the-issue/
Correa, Melissa (2019). Pedophiles want photos shared on social media. KHOU 11 website. https://www.khou.com/article/news/crime/pedophiles-are-looking-for-photos-of-your-kids-on-social-media/285-c69166b1-7387-48ac-ae6d-cb53d907562a
eSafety Commissioner (2022). Privacy and Your Child. https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/skills-advice/privacy-child
Holler, Jim (2018). Posting Photos of Your Kids on Social Media - The Pedophiles Dream Come True! https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/posting-photos-your-kids-social-media-pedophiles-dream-jim-holler/
Internet Health Report (2019). Who babysits your children’s data? https://internethealthreport.org/2019/who-babysits-your-childrens-data/
Martin, Sharon (2019). How to Set Boundaries with Kindness. https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/01/how-to-set-boundaries-with-kindness
Moody, Josh (2019). Why Colleges Look at Students’ Social Media. https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/2019-08-22/why-colleges-look-at-students-social-media-accounts
Nominet (2015). The Parent Zone. https://www.nominet.uk/todays-children-will-feature-in-almost-1000-online-photos-by-the-time-they-reach-age-five/
Ohwovoriole, Toketemu (2021). How to Safely Share Photos of Your Child On Social Media. https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-safely-share-photos-of-your-kids-on-social-media-5191030
Raising Children Network Australia (2022). The Australian Parenting Website. Posting photos of your child online. https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-life/media-technology/posting-photos-of-children
Reynolds, Sharon (2022). Cyberbullying linked with suicidal thoughts and attempts in young adolescents. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/cyberbullying-linked-suicidal-thoughts-attempts-young-adolescents
In our world of limitless information, there are no excuses for digital ignorance or apathy that puts children at risk. Videos and photos are being taken constantly - some innocent, some with permission, and some covertly. We must strive to protect children from the repercussions of this reality. Children, our future, are worth protecting from digital exploitation and trauma.
The majority of photo taking and video making occurs daily on cellphones and security cameras. When this digital information is encoded on a phone, the user has a choice about what to do with it. Do I keep it for myself? Do I post it on social media? Do I send it to my friend, my mom, or my cousin?
Photos are a great way to share your life with others who are not with you - a way to update, share funny stories, and show what you are proud of. Unfortunately, the intent of your photo sharing does not determine the subsequent uses of the photo, or the real-life consequences.
As an adult, you can decide how to share photos of yourself. You are likely aware of the potential consequences of doing so. But when your photo includes a child, another person’s rights are involved - a person who does not have the social standing to advocate for themselves, or the capacity to understand all that sharing their photo entails. Let’s dive deep into the ramifications of photo sharing and posting, and then consider some simple solutions.
Unintended Consequences of Photo Sharing
A simple example can illustrate unintended consequences. Let’s imagine that you have 20 people who are your Facebook friends. Most of those people are probably family members, and a handful of friends. You decide to take a picture of your daughter’s first day of school. You share it on Facebook. One of your friends thinks this is the cutest picture ever, and decides to re-post it on their Facebook. Unfortunately, this friend is one who adds random people as Facebook friends, and tends to overshare. All of those random people connected to your friend now have access to this picture of your daughter. One of these random people is a child predator, who adds hundreds of people on Facebook, hoping to have access to pictures of children to use for illicit purposes. All of this occurs despite the fact that you have used the highest security and privacy settings possible.
There are numerous other ways in which similar situations could play out. You post a picture on Instagram. Your school posts a picture of your child on their social media accounts. You share a photo of your child to a distant relative who isn’t aware of online risks, and the photo is posted on social media without your knowledge.
As an adult who cares for children, it is heart-wrenching to learn how these innocent pictures are being used. It is likely that photos of children are being stolen off social media sites every second of every day (Holler, 2018). Here are some of the ways that people can use your child’s photo when they have access to it online:
- Cyberbullying
2. Future Job Searches and University Applications
University admissions teams and employers are known to search online for information about applicants. Embarrassing or otherwise offensive photos and content can be used to dismiss applicants (Moody, 2019).
3. Image Similarity Search
In some search engines, you can input a photo, and the search will provide all images on the internet that are similar. This means that the more photos that a child has on the internet, the more information that can be found about that child without much effort. In one photo a person might discover the child’s school, another might show activities they join in, or the time of day they are at certain locations. This unintentional personal information sharing is a safety risk. The Child Rescue Coalition has found a pattern of child predators stalking a child in real life that they have found on social media (CRC, 2022).
4. Photos Downloaded and Repurposed
An utterly nefarious unintended consequence of photo sharing - pedophiles around the world use seemingly innocent social media photos of children to make pornographic memes and other vile content to share with other like-minded individuals. A pedophile who likes the look of your child can easily take a face shot of your child that they have found on social media, then photoshop it onto a picture of a naked child’s body. It is estimated that about half of the photos shared on pedophile websites are originally taken from social media accounts (Battersby, 2015).
Another negative aspect of sharing child photos digitally is the lesson that it implicitly teaches children. Posting a child’s photo online without their knowledge or permission indicates to them that they do not have a right to privacy, and neither does it allow for a healthy culture of consent and personal boundaries. Children might be told that they have autonomy over their body, but the behavior of sharing their pictures is contrary to this message. Adults lose children’s trust when acting in this contradictory way. Being able to set personal boundaries in regards to their body can have positive effects on their mental health and wellbeing.
Furthermore, adults who post children’s pictures are creating a digital footprint for them, and the child has had no say in the matter. Many parents have begun the child’s digital footprint as early as the day of their birth. One study found that on average, a child would feature in about 1000 posted photos before their 5th birthday (Nominet, 2015). Barclays Bank predicts that parents who share information about their children online will be the cause of two-thirds of identity fraud and financial scams that young people face by the end of 2030 (Internet Health Report, 2019).
Responding to Critics of Photo Privacy
When protecting a child’s right to digital privacy, many critics will emerge - sometimes even from the people closest to you. Some of their arguments, and rebuttals to these claims, include:
“I have my privacy settings on the highest.”
As explained in a previous example, even the highest privacy setting cannot ensure that your photo is not downloaded or copied in some way. Once you post it on the internet, there is no assurance that it can ever be fully erased.
“There aren’t many instances of people using and stealing pictures of children. It doesn’t happen that much.”
The CRC has said that they track between 30 and 50 million reports of online users trading child sexual abuse material every day. The CRC has also identified 72.5 million unique IP addresses worldwide sharing and downloading sexually explicit images and videos of children. Those disturbing numbers include only what the CRC has found - there are likely many others that have gone undetected.
“Pedophiles only use bath pictures.”
Actually some predators favorite types of photos are “back-to-school” pictures, children in costumes, and photos of children eating food (Correa, 2019).
“My child doesn’t care.”
This argument likely comes from a caregiver who hasn’t involved their child in the process. One study where teenagers were surveyed across 25 countries found that 42 percent of the teenagers were troubled by how much their parents shared online (CBS, 2022).
“It doesn’t hurt anyone if you don’t know about it.”
Your child knows many, many people. With every person they know, the likelihood increases that one of them, or someone connected to them, would come across a photo of them. Additionally, imagine how your child might feel if law enforcement informed you that their photo, which you originally took and posted, was being passed around in pedophile circles? This damage is difficult to repair.
Simple, Reasonable Steps for Photo Privacy
After learning about the potential horrific consequences of online photo sharing, you might choose to keep all pictures of children off digital devices. However, this is quite difficult if not practically impossible in our current society. You can choose to take all, some, or perhaps just one of the steps below to further protect your child’s digital privacy:
- Check and update your privacy settings on social media regularly.
- Ask family and close friends not to post pictures of your child online.
- Review your social media friend lists and remove people as necessary.
- Advocate for better school policies regarding photo use.
- Pause and think before taking a picture of a child.
- Avoid including your child’s name on public sites.
- Avoid posting any personal information that could identify your child (birthdate, school name, address, name, etc.).
- Use email or secure message apps to send photos to family and friends (RCNA, 2020).
- Ask your child before sharing photos with others. Respect their feelings.
- Be mindful of metadata and geo-location. Remove these identifiers as needed. (eSafety, 2022)
- Never post pictures of your child with any degree of undress.
- Avoid posting photos of other people’s children (Ohwovoriole, 2021).
Questions to Ask Yourself When Sharing a Photo
Can I send this directly instead of posting on social media?
Is this person likely to repost or send it to other people?
Have I described my boundaries to this person before?
Am I OK with this photo being spread elsewhere after I have shared it with someone?
Is it necessary for me to send this picture?
How does my child feel (or how will they feel) about me sending it?
Setting Boundaries with Others
A challenging aspect of protecting children’s digital privacy is setting boundaries with people who we may not be used to setting boundaries with. To fully examine healthy boundary setting would require a lengthy discourse, which is outside the scope of this letter. However, recognizing that it is a crucial aspect of being able to advocate for children’s digital privacy, the basics of this necessary skill are highlighted below.
Boundary setting begins with you knowing what your boundary is.
- “I don’t want my child’s photos on Facebook.”
- “I don’t post pictures of my child on Facebook in order to protect their digital privacy. I would appreciate if you would please not post any photos of my child online.”
- “I noticed a photo of my child on your Facebook. Could you please remove it? We try to keep their pictures off the internet.”
As with any boundary setting, it can feel the most difficult when you begin, but it becomes easier as you practice and experience success in expressing your feelings and expectations. In a world with much ignorance regarding digital citizenship and safety, it can be exhausting to continually set and keep these boundaries. However, working toward the goal of protecting children’s digital lives is worth the energy.
Move Forward with Action
You might feel alarmed or guilty by the information shared in this letter. My intent however was to inform and empower you, as an adult who interacts with children, to use your agency and knowledge to protect our children and their digital lives. As a society we have failed repeatedly to make the digital world safe and friendly for children. It is time to act, and though most children do not have the mental capacity to thank you now, the impact of your current choices to value their digital future will be felt for years to come.
References
Battersby, Lucy (2015). Millions of social media photos found on child exploitation sharing sites. https://www.smh.com.au/national/millions-of-social-media-photos-found-on-child-exploitation-sharing-sites-20150929-gjxe55.html
CBS News (2022). Posting Photos of Your Child on Social Media? Experts Warn There May Be Consequences. https://www.cbsnews.com/sacramento/news/posting-photos-of-your-children-on-social-media-experts-warn-there-may-be-consequences/
Child Rescue Coalition (2022). The Issue. https://childrescuecoalition.org/the-issue/
Correa, Melissa (2019). Pedophiles want photos shared on social media. KHOU 11 website. https://www.khou.com/article/news/crime/pedophiles-are-looking-for-photos-of-your-kids-on-social-media/285-c69166b1-7387-48ac-ae6d-cb53d907562a
eSafety Commissioner (2022). Privacy and Your Child. https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/skills-advice/privacy-child
Holler, Jim (2018). Posting Photos of Your Kids on Social Media - The Pedophiles Dream Come True! https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/posting-photos-your-kids-social-media-pedophiles-dream-jim-holler/
Internet Health Report (2019). Who babysits your children’s data? https://internethealthreport.org/2019/who-babysits-your-childrens-data/
Martin, Sharon (2019). How to Set Boundaries with Kindness. https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/01/how-to-set-boundaries-with-kindness
Moody, Josh (2019). Why Colleges Look at Students’ Social Media. https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/2019-08-22/why-colleges-look-at-students-social-media-accounts
Nominet (2015). The Parent Zone. https://www.nominet.uk/todays-children-will-feature-in-almost-1000-online-photos-by-the-time-they-reach-age-five/
Ohwovoriole, Toketemu (2021). How to Safely Share Photos of Your Child On Social Media. https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-safely-share-photos-of-your-kids-on-social-media-5191030
Raising Children Network Australia (2022). The Australian Parenting Website. Posting photos of your child online. https://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-life/media-technology/posting-photos-of-children
Reynolds, Sharon (2022). Cyberbullying linked with suicidal thoughts and attempts in young adolescents. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/nih-research-matters/cyberbullying-linked-suicidal-thoughts-attempts-young-adolescents